Readers!

Obviously this post should’ve been written ages ago, with flowing prose and the like but I was up in the flatlands of rural Wyoming (You’re jealous, I can feel it) so I’m going to write this now and then you can read it. Capiche? (Tangent: I’ve always wanted to tell someone ‘Capiche to their faces but never had the huevos. I have a feeling that when this boy pops out I’ll use my tough guy on him. With no success. ‘Don’t pee on me while I’m changing you, capiche? Arrrrgh!’)

So as you know it was recently Wife’s birthday.  I love celebrating Wife’s birthday cause it gives me a chance to showcase my macaroni art skills. This year’s interpretation of ‘Nighthawks’ by Edward Hopper was a rousing success. I really think the rigatoni captured the essence of what Hopper was trying to portray.

Actually, Wife’s birthday is a constant reminder that my artistic abilities are severely lacking. Luckily, what I lack in skill I make up for in tenacity. So I started the big B off with breakfast in bed for the Wife after only slighting charring the bacon and almost setting off the fire alarm and then it was present time.

Now readers, I’m not going to lie. I knocked it out of the park this year on the whole gift thing. Wife’s a kitchen gadget girl at heart. (See her infomercial on her new baby food thinger) So this year I got her something that she’s been wanting since birth. AND to top it off I got a screaming deal on it. Seriously if I didn’t know any better I’d think that Bed, Bath, and Beyond had bought this out of some guy’s trunk and was trying to get rid of the hot merchandise. Check it.

That’s right readers, yours truly got the Wife a food processor. WITH AN EASY TWIST COVER! Needless to say she was pretty excited. Observe:

Yes readers that’s the Wife clutching her new toy like Spencer Pratt clings to an US magazine reporter. (Current Event Zing!) But you see readers the genius of the plan is that Wife will begin using this bad boy to make even more delicious treats. And guess who’s got two thumbs and gets to eat all that deliciousness? This guy.

So that was fun. Wife also got an amazingly cool watch and a mani pedi (Gasp. I can’t believe I just typed that. I’m sitting the next few plays out) from her parents and a cupcake stand from Hubby. Plus she got an awesome toiletrytote and glass drink dispenser that she’s been wanting forever from my parents.  After awakening her from her happiness-induced coma I was off to work and Wife continued celebrating with her parents.

After work we went to one of our favorite restaurants. The Melting Pot. Or as I like to call it, Bubbling Pots o’ Liquid Awesomeness. The parents-in-laws had never been so we thoroughly enjoyed showing them the ropes and enjoyed a fantastic meal topped off with the Amazing Liquid Chocolate Cauldron of Fury. Ask your waiter. He’ll understand.

Once again I get to write a few words on how special Wife is to me. Getting to celebrate her birthday is just one more way that I can show how much she means to me and how I couldn’t do any of this without her. I can’t wait for next year cause that means I’ll have a little sous chef to help me with the festivities. Happy Birthday Wife.