Look readers I’m going to pass on the pleasantries today cause the fury inside is making my fingers all twitchy. So I am going to get right to it.
Enough.
Seriously.
Enough.
Gaaah. I wish that there was a font or emoticon for disgust or puking or something. Hmmmm, XO*****? Close. I’ll work on it. But for serious. Quit it.
What am I talking about?
This.
Hurk. I just threw up in my mouth a little just posting that.
Look readers, I’m not the biggest fan of American Idol. I used to be. Kelly Clarkson’s still my girl, but over the seasons I’ve just grown less and less enthused. Just about the whole thing. The mugging for the camera, the choreographed dances, the ridiculous Ford commercials, just everything. Unfortunately the Wife still carries a torch for it and therefore I have to be subjected to it.
Thankfully, Wife and I can agree 100% on one thing.
This yahoo is absolutely terrible.
Awful. Sucktacular. Horrendous.
And the weirdest thing is I feel like I’m the only one who thinks this!!! It’s like I’m taking crazy pills or something. I begrudgingly watch each of his songs just waiting for that moment. You know what moment I’m talking about. The eyebrows goes down, the mouth opens to vampire-like lengths, he’s looking like he’s remembering his dead kitten Mr. Fluffles and we get:
EAYAYEAAEYAYAAAAAYAWAAAAWEEEEWAWEAAAEWWEAAEWAAAAA
Ugh. I mean if I wanted to hear something like that, I’d save myself the trouble and just throw my boys in a vice and poke out my eardrums with a flaming fondue spork.
And yet, without fail, he finishes his song and the judges start a Greco-Roman wrestling match to be the first one to say what an “artist” or “visionary” or “singer who is clearly singing amazingly and not just screaming like he saw a bear riding a rhino coming straight for him”
Am I the only who thinks this? COME ON!
Enough.
10 responses so far ↓
1 Carrie Grover // May 13, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Oh my gosh, I can’t STAND him! He just screeches and sticks his tongue out. What a weirdo. I do like Kris Allen a lot though.
2 E-Rob // May 13, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Like this?
3 E-Rob // May 13, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Well, that didn’t work. And now I can’t delete it. I’ll try one more time but after that I quit.
http://www.msn101.com/content/emoticons/Vomit_7L6JUI.gif
If that doesn’t work, I give you permission to mock me mercilessly.
4 Dan // May 14, 2009 at 6:31 am
I don’t watch the show at all, but right after you posted this, I read this in my Facebook stream.
The gauntlet has been thrown down
5 Shaylee // May 14, 2009 at 10:07 am
Amen.
6 Bobbo Cramer // May 14, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I wholeheartedly agree with you, Steve. I can’t stand that thing. I am hard-pressed to call it a guy. I’m not even sure.
7 Candice // May 14, 2009 at 4:29 pm
This post was hilarious. I’m glad someone else noticed the weird tongue thing too.
8 Marilyn // May 14, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Did you remember that Adam Lambert was Jonathan’s understudy when Jonathan was Harold Hill in “The Music Man” back in high school? I do think Adam has a terrific voice.
9 Tay // May 16, 2009 at 12:28 am
Adam…your eyeliner called…it wants the heck off your face until you promise to stop screaming.
10 Tyson Fujikawa // May 17, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Wow guys… normally I try to see your logic and understand it, but you guys are CRAZY.
As you both know, Heather and I are HARD CORE American Idol fans. We never miss a week and even go to the live shows when we can. This year has been the most incredible year for the show based on the talent.
Now… Adam Lamber (from Mt. Carmel…just down the road from my High school by the way) I first want you to know that I am NOT a fan of this guy. I personally can’t stand him because he is over the top, way to theatrical and flaming gay… but you can’t say this guy can’t sing. Holy cow… EVERYONE in the music industry who have actually had successful careers have all said that Adam Lambert is one of the most talented singers they have ever seen in YEARS.
Even though we all don’t like him, you better try to get use to his face because he is going to be one of the biggest stars from our generation… not kidding. Nobody who has ever been associated with American Idol will have the career that Adam is going to have. Mark my words.
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