Dear WIfe,

Hi. Your husband here. Listen I had a blasty blast with you, your fam, the state of Oklahoma, the state of Texas, Ted’s, card games, the Wii, and the undeniably cute chunka monk named Brody Reuben Bowman. It was so much fun seeing you in your element and hearing your cute Southern accent come back and seeing you being the amazing aunt to your cute little nephews.

Unfortunately, I had to come home early and herein lies the reason for my post. You see, without you here, we’ve kinda gone to DEFCON 4 here at the homestead. I wander around listlessly, muttering to myself. I completely lack your cooking skills and cannot make a sensible dinner to save my life. I made Brinner tonight for heaven’s sakes! (And yes, I ate an entire half of a pan of Monsters.) I’m in my basketball shorts, watching the basketball game. Fine, it’s Legally Blonde. I’m pretty sure I put the laundry in the microwave and the dishes in the bed. Did our carpet always have that huge stain shaped like New Jersey? I can’t find my socks. I’m lonely.

Um, I think that’s it. Oh and I bought some of those Miracle Blades on the infomercial that I saw last night. Free shipping!

Come home soon,

Husband